Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
