It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
