You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
