i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
