Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
