So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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