I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
