a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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