There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
