I smell stomach acid.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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