the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
