my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
