Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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