Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
