are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
