operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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