i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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