Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
