I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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