in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
this just has baby written all over it
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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