ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
