i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
