Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
