he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
they're like a gay fantastic four
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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