I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm really busy with my period
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