No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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