if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
