im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
