Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
why is half of my head shaved?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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