Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
