A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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