im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
