that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just forgot I was standing up.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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