Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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