...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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