I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
