I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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