just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
do nipples grow back?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
