scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
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