I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
