uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
