And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
