Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
