So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize