New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
