sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
