There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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