Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
