Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
