Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
