my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
