I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
