Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
