Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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