And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
