I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
