Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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