Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
